Relationships are sometimes trying and hurtful but with respect , communication , and a whole lot of love and patience it can be everlasting. A friend of mine went through a horrific time with her then husband. It was a world wind romance. She said “when their eyes met they both knew,” love hit them hard. Endless nights they talked deeply, laughed themselves silly and planned for the future bringing both families together. They each had children from a previous marriage. She was looking forward to planting her garden with him and he was looking forward on never being pushed away from love in all aspects. Oh how she loved him deeply . It was unconditional and she thought it was the same feeling with him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. He presented her with a pre-nup, and she signed. No fear she had, for in her heart and soul she knew this was the man she was going to grow old with. For he had said that to her many times, “Grow old with me.” Oh boy was that being naive? No, when you truly trust and truly love the person you’re going to marry and spend your life with, there isn’t a doubt, that this is truth!
They married and settled into HIS home. In weeks to come it was always tossed into her face it was “his home,” not as you would think, their home. How that feeling crept up on her…Whats going on? Doesn’t us and we sound better than mine, mine, mine! Still she put that feeling away and continued on making his home theirs. There were also problems with his older daughter that caused conflict between her and her husband. My friend would always receive the blunt unkindness from the upheaval’s due to his daughter. He would take it out on her verbally. He would play the game, pull her in, and hurtfully push her back. He was hot and then cold, and she couldn’t figure out on any given day who was on first. Was it Mr. Nice or Mr. Cold? He was verbally abusive, and frightening it was for her. Still in her thoughts she she believed in the vows they shared. It will get better. She decorated the home, cooked wonderful meals, did the laundry, cleaned the house and worked, all along believing he loved her deeply and appreciated all she had done. Then it started… Her husband going out and not wanting her to go with. She told me, I can see not all the time but once in awhile it would have been nice to be invited. He had a local bar he would hang out at. One morning they went grocery shopping and ran into one of his bar buddies. The friend looked at her husband and said “Where have you been hiding her?” She said she could have cried that very moment.
Needless to say they divorced. He left her with nothing, financially broke. Sometimes, a brief thought, she shutters at some of the awful, mean experience’s she went through with this man, and there were many beyond belief. Today she realizes that’s not love nor was it ever a marriage. He didn’t want to share. Money was his idol! For I could write a book on what he put her through.
So ask those questions ladies, good or not so good, concerning you and your partner, communicate, communicate, communicate! Make time for each other. Get silly together, forgive faults, and dance the dance of life together. Yes we all will have our trials but when you have each others back you can walk through anything.There are beautiful, lasting relationship’s out there. It’s a work in progress everyday.
As for my friend, she has her voice back. It was silenced at one time, but now she’s singing again. For she knows, she is love…..