Are you in a new relationship, and looking to get that spark going? Or have you been in a relationship for awhile and looking to reignite that spark? Well I have 6 simple steps to help you ignite that spark in your relationship.
- You know that saying, “actions speak louder than words?” Well, don’t just tell your partner you love them, show them as well… Everyday! Simply saying “I love you” doesn’t really deepen a connection. Showing your partner you love them can be done by simple little things, such as leaving love notes and for them somewhere for when they or you go out of town or to work. Also, give them a hug as soon as they walk in the door from going somewhere. Simple, sweet and easy.
- Be a kid every once in awhile! Come on, we’re all kids at heart, and there’s no shame in acting like one on occasion. Laugh and play as you would as a child, especially in times of stress. Joke and have fun. Or in my case, I like to watch fun kid movies with my boyfriend and take trips to Disneyland! Playing and having fun helps us feel more joy, helps us be more creative, and can also help expand our thinking. In the end, if you see your partner acting like a kid, embrace it.
- Go to bed together. Seriously. If you live together, try to go to bed at the same time. While winding down in bed, talk about your day. Cuddle while talking. This is time together for both of you. Doing this helps you reconnect and lets you both learn new things about each other. If you don’t live together or one of you is traveling, call one another while going to bed.
- Don’t always blow things off. If something is bugging you or your partner says or does something you don’t agree with, tell them. Don’t blow something out of proportion though. Think about what you want to say and politely say it. Pretending something doesn’t matter can sometimes cause distance.
- Always remember how much you love your partner. When you are arguing, you can sometimes feel like the victim. Take a deep breath and listen to your partner. Remember that they too could also feel like the victim. Listen to what they are upset about and (I know this is hard) own up to what you did wrong. Also, remember everything you love about your partner and how grateful you are to have them in your life. That pretty much always calms me down.
- Get all touchy touchy!! Touch each other as often as possible. This increases the hormone oxytocin, which is known as the hormone of love. This hormone reduces stress and increases sexual arousal. Surprisingly, most men and women are touch deprived. Touch helps bring a sense of trust and safety with your partner, so remember to do it often.
Stay connected. I know this requires some time and commitment, but your relationship will definitely flourish. Even if you don’t use all these steps, you will see a significant improvement in your partner and your relationship.